Goods

Monthly Horrorscope

$100.00

Scared of the dark? Afraid of falling into a bottomless pit? On the lookout for zombies, vampires, and/or werewolves waiting to tear you to shreds? Sign up now for your monthly horrorscope. For the low price of $99.95 / mo. we'll e-mail you when to expect the next horror to come your way. Our service is guaranteed or your money back.

$100.00

Clairvoyance

$50.00

My clairvoyance is for hire. If you'd like me to tap into the eternal stream of time and predict an event or an outcome for you, simply pay this fee and ask your question in the order comments.

$50.00

Llama Bag

$10.00

The llama bag is quite possibly the greatest way to carry things from home to work to school to the coffee shop and back. You can buy one in Ecuador or purchase an import from me. The limited warranty applies as long as you haven't set it or yourself on fire within the last 6 months.

$10.00
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